The Cows Say Hello : 06 : January 2007 : The Final Cow-down

That has been my question over the last month or so. I hate to use the word "busy" (because it sorta implies a lack of agency/control and I don't feel that at all) but I must admit that when I asked for a lot of things earlier last year, they certainly turned up on my doorstep in spades by November. So what's been happening in Cow-land?...

What seemed like a neat solution to filling my psych prac hours (for my registration and Masters requirements) has turned into a fascinating [insert nodding head and chin rubbing] foray into the world of being a casual employee. V.e.r.y. interesting.

I worked out that I could write fiction. It may not be "good fiction" yet, and no, I'm not sharing any with you, but I certainly found that I could find my flow by sitting down for five hours and banging out 5000 words on the laptop. My goal was to reach 50,000 words by the end of November as part of Nanowrimo. I got to just over 17,000 before I gave into my other commitments. I was pretty chuffed though. I had attempted fiction writing many years ago and decided that it "just wasn't me", so it was nice to find out that perhaps people can really change!

Oh dear. Here's true confession time... I have felt the nasty side-effects of not managing my stress. And the verdict? Stress sucks. Sleepless nights + bad diet does not equal optimal performance. On the plus side, when faced with the choice of sink or swim, well, I learned how to swim.

I'm a bit like a kid in the candy store of life at the moment - I have some really amazing opportunities in front of me which are making me ask "Yeah, but what do I REALLY REALLY want?"

"I live with a Published Author" is the slogan on my t-shirt this month after Caro won the local Short Story Competition. And being a "winner" ain't enough, apparently a laminated version of her award-winning story will be gracing the walls of the local pub. What. A. Legend. (Yes, I'm giving her heaps, but I am extremely proud of her for writing the thing and sending it in. Again, another "I'm not a fiction writer" surprising herself.) Oh, and she continues to garner fans with her ABC radio spots. Baby stepping stones.

Oh, the irony: I got major writer's block when writing an article on... Flow. Yes, I can laugh about it now...

I started COWs six months ago as a way to keep in touch with friends and colleagues and, to be honest, just to gain confidence in "letting my writing go" public. I've been touched by how the COWs have spoken to so many people who have sent me beautiful feedback and spurred me on to do more of this stuff. So thank you.

This has been a really neat year for me. I've developed more as a writer and found a bit more confidence in expressing my opinions - of which you all know I have MANY but I held back because "the coach" in me kept not wanting to give advice.

Fortunately, I had a bit of a shift around the difference between "giving advice" and "sharing a different perspective" this year. I find advice implies a direction (ie go do this) whereas perspective may provide a different viewpoint but the direction always comes from the reader or listener, rather than the speaker. For me, I don't want people to "do as I do" or even "do as I say" (lord help us all), I just want to make it a little easier for you to see your own solution. There I go.. the coach is talking again.

You see, I've found over the years (even before I began coaching, back through my bookselling and psych) that often, a different perspective is all it takes for someone to go "Aha! I now know what I've got to do." So if I've bored you senseless with my ramblings, I apologise, my intention has only been to provide a fresh perspective.

And as much, it is time for me to take a fresh perspective. The COW-eye view has been a great introspective but my eyes are now looking outwards as well and I'm wanting to bring my writing on different topics into one forum. So, it's goodbye COWs and hello Brilliant! which will bring together my more personal writing as well as business and work-related stuff. (Oh, and coaching...) and whatever else I feast my eyes on. It's basically about bringing positive psych to life.

I've yet to decide the format (blog/rss feed/newsletter/all) but I intend to launch February-ish so you'll certainly be hearing from me then...

We talk a lot about living in the present moment but I really had to wonder recently - how often do I do it?

My question came after reading an amazing (and exceptionally bleak) novel by Cormac McCarthy call The Road. This is the story of a father and son living a daily (and often moment to moment) existence in a post-nuclear, ashen landscape where cannibalism is rife and starvation's probable. And yet the humanity and the love in this story is unforgettable. It was one of those books I just had to talk about when I finished it because in a very zen way, much of the story happens in what's not said. Definitely had me asking myself, also, what does it mean to be human?

I've shared a number of peak book, film, music experiences with you over the last six months, but I'd have to say the ones that I'm truly glad I had in my life were:

I'm writing this on the 31st December 2006 and for me it's a day of preparation to celebrate the past year and welcome the new year. Many people I have spoken with recently are ready to say "good riddance" to 2006. I can understand there is a lot of pain associated with going through changes where you perceive you don't have much control. It reminds me of Auschwitz survivor, Victor Frankl's quote:

Which is something I'm intending on living more in 2007. The past few months have been full of situations that I haven't coped with as well as I would like and when I come back to this idea then I start asking myself - What can I actually do here that will keep me in integrity? The answer may not be easy but I feel strong upon making that choice.

So no matter what 2006 brought you, let's celebrate the wonderful things we do have, the people in our lives and that, in every moment from now, we can make choices that bring us closer to what's really important.

I've been researching and writing about New Year Resolutions recently. And, you'd never guess it but, they aren't really the most effective way to bring about change.

I always like the "natural process" approach where you look at those times in your life where you have changed and ask "What happenened there that made it work?" Especially with those things in our lives that are effortless. And then applying what you learn from that to your current situation. I've found that a lot of my "effortless change" scenarios have things in common with what the theory says about flow and goal setting (eg be clear about what you want, get feedback, make it challenging but not overwhelming, etc).

The simplest change approach I've found is to tap into your compelling vision (something that everytime you think of it you get a little tingle of excitement) and really feel it. That's what will pull you through the obstacles - help you make that phone call, pass over that second piece of chocolate cake, go for that early morning walk...

The Cows Say Hello’s objective is to share a little bit of the hoopla of amazing stuff that comes into my world as I'm out here talkin to the cows.

The Cows Say Hello is written and collated by Trish Weston. Everything in it is her opinion, with a smattering of facts to make it hold together. If you have any suggestions or comments please feel free to email trish AT worklifedesign DOT com DOT au